Excuses. They’re so deeply ingrained in our solipsism that we barely recognize how often we rely on them and the damage using them will afflict.
As a spoiled, eldest child, of a very wealthy & well respected family. I was the master excuse or justification maker. I used to get away with everything. I could talk my way out of nearly anything. Nothing was ever my fault because there was always an external obstacle that would inevitably cause me to be unsuccessful, by no fault of my own. There was a perfect retaliation for any accusation. Late? Traffic. Lost? GPS must be on the fritz. Chubby? Bloated. Easily agitated? Not sleeping well or hungry. Lazy/Procrastination? bored/listlessness…. I could go on and on and on!
The problem, with my being excused and knowing my excuse will be expunged it robs me of taking responsibility for being late, or lazy, or getting lost. What I should’ve done was own it! Acknowledge it. Be aware and prepared to be compared to something or someone for which you do not care, otherwise it’s not your feelings that will be repaired, no it will be growth and understanding which will be spared.
It took me years of building excuses before I even recognized what excuses were. Then it dawned on me what an excuse is. An excuse is what I used to defend my ego from being blamed or chastised for whatever accusations I was being reprimanded for. This defuses the chagrin I feel for lacking and uses external forces as scapegoats. Also, when I would begin to spout off the myriad of “reasons” I was unable to accomplish or achieve something before anyone even says or mentions anything of the sort. If I am already defending myself before I’m inquired upon, then, yes, not only am I full of excuses, but also discontent, ignobility, mild disdain and/or very little patience for the person or the circumstance that continually occurs. If at any point you find yourself convincing yourself the veracity of your “reasons” then these are are excuses. If you find yourself trying to recruit others to deem you 0r your situation undesirable, excusable, or infallible…and they do so without hesitation or attestation, then it’s time for a new crew. Because, if all they do is agree with you, they’re not what you need to experience strength and truth, thus aiding in inner growth and ascension boost.
The true way to know when the response you provided to a situation is a reason and not a deflection of acceptance is you won’t have to defend or convince anyone of anything, certainly not yourself, at all. Not to say you will be perfect for the duration of your time on earth, but reasons speak for themselves.
Evading responsibility because of personal sensitivity that transforms into your proclivity leaving your view askewed. Once comeuppance is confirmed either on your behalf for being unsatisfactory or you’re no longer fomenting stories which victimize you and gain sympathy for your inability to meet demands or perform tasks which have been requested of you.
Reasons resonate & corroborate the truth, needing no explicit, detailed, play-by-play recount. It’s true therefore so are you. Once, you begin to notice yourself in one of these paradigms of placating and exacerbating the burden you hold within your soul (if you haven’t already) you will begin to spot it in other people (if you haven’t already) the sooner you will be able to dig down and reveal the real REASONS why you’ve conscientiously cultivated contentious consternation carelessly causing caustic consequences.
There you have it. I was making all types of excuses and came up with any possible way to externalize my ability to thrive by blaming others’ resulting an inability to thrive. I knew I had to begin to understand another concept I found a bit tough to conquer or even understand how to go about applying it to myself and to assist in the positive process of progress. Admit when you made a mistake, acknowledge your ineffable disdain of your life and how it got to be this way. Because, it’s only the fault of yourself.
Which requires you to find fortitude within and begin to forgive…
The finesse and art of forgiving.